just some thoughts
I'm trying to find my way in accepting that exercising in the future might drastically change for me. It feels like I'm getting more restrictions to what is possible for my body. The ways I can exercise which are good for my body, are reduced even more. I wrote before about the possibility that qi gong will no longer be in my life, after my knee recovery.
I love qi gong and also believe (and experienced) it's good for my mental and physical health. It's great for people that have constrains, like me (and chronically ill people). Because it is soft. But I am also believing more now, that I have to focus on different movements. That my body needs different things.
After visiting the physio today, I have the feeling I have to change something. Not only now for my knee, but permanently. He is definitely giving me food for thought. I'm trying to listen to my body more. What it needs and would benefit from. Instead of finding a way of exercising that I want, I need to find a way of exercising that my body needs.
My therapist explained after some new findings today, that a leg has blood vessels from the hips to the knee. Big ones and very small ones. If the small ones are constricted, you can get knee problems, and what I have; a knee that burns up too quickly when doing a simple, not heavy exercise.
My knees burning up quickly is something I have for years. Maybe even forever? I feel it when walking up the stairs, when biking, with any movement that my knees are involved. Since I have this for a very long time, this tells me that my knees are not getting the proper movement. That this is not just a case of overuse of my knee(s).
One of the things he advised me to do now, is get on the exercise bike 20 minutes daily, with low strain, but just enough to let my knees feel a bit tired. I feel very motivated to get this up and running and am looking into exercise bikes, secondhand, new or a gym membership.
Somehow this feels like a new beginning. The start of taking care of my body more, in a way that it really needs. Before I would hate the thought of mandatory fitness. Because I preferred different ways of taking care of my health.
To be honest, as a chronically ill person that went from doctor to doctor and physio to physio, I had 'treatment fatigue' and stopped with these things all together. That's not a sustainable way of taking care of my body, I know. So I'm going to take it more serious now. Maybe in a few months, I'm thanking my knee for this wake up call! ; )
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