it's a journey
It's day 6 without my qi gong lessons due to my runner's knee. I've been advised by my physiotherapist to temporary stop all sports and practices for now, to see if any of them were adding to the pain.
I'm not sure if I can attribute everything to stopping with practice and using knee tape on my busy days... but my knee is feeling a bit better! That's something that makes me happy > less pain. But it also makes me sad. Because that means that I might have to stop my qi gong practice entirely?
It's not the time to fully accept that, because I'm not sure yet if it is true. But I find myself thinking about the possibility of finding other ways of moving for the future, that my chronically sick body can do. The options are limited, so I'm not that keen on looking for something else and at the end of my search maybe realizing that hiking or biking are probably the only things my body can keep up with.
The situation does make me wonder sometimes... Did this all start years ago, when I first got red knees after my tai chi lesson? Did it gradually get worse and is tai chi and qi gong just not something my knees can take? There's moments I'm having a hard time with the uncertainty.
I'm trying to keep an open mind for what the journey will bring me. Even if this means giving up something I cared about for so many years.