a quick update
just a quick update about how it’s going…
I’ve started working again this week after a 2 week holiday break and it has been HARD. I’m still waiting for my rheumatology appointment on the 1st of September and am trying to get through the days on 600mg ibuprofen (2 times a day). on the days I’m home I can sort of manage because there’s room to rest a little bit. on workdays there’s not. and it’s killing me.
I feel like the only thing I do is work and sleep. the pain builds up during the day and around 4 it gets unbearable. then I still have 2 hours of work left that I have to get myself through. now that my knees have started to hurt too, it’s almost impossible to stand all day. those last hours are the part of each day that I hate the most.
I really love my job. it’s really my dreamjob. but I have been secretly wishing that my only purpose in life is lie on the couch and do nothing. because everything takes so much energy and there’s pain that I can’t carry.
when I come home I can’t cook anymore. on workdays the husband takes care of that. he also brings D to bed. after dinner I sit on the couch a bit to rest, and around 21:00/21:30 the latest my body is so done with the day that I have to sleep.
I sleep from 21:30 till 06:30 every day and still feel like my body didn’t get any rest at all. it just cannot recharge at all. I could sleep all day.
I have to hold on for 11 more days and it’s going to be the longest wait of my life, it feels like. and who knows if I will get any relieve then? I’m preparing myself for the possibility that it could take some time before I feel a little better again.
I wanted to thank everyone who reached out to me the past weeks. I really appreciate hearing from you all!